Starting to Date Again – Next Steps After You Leave an Abusive Relationship

Question:  How to avoid an abusive relationship?

I’m in my forties and ended an abusive relationship about a year and a half ago.  I want to start dating again as I’m seeking a committed relationship, and one day, marriage. I want to select a better person next time.  How can I make better dating choices in the future?

Laura in Lake Forest

I’m happy to hear that you’ve moved on from an abusive relationship. Life is much too short and precious to spend it with the wrong person.  There are several things I would suggest doing to attract the right types of people.  These suggestions require that you focus on yourself first.  When we value and love ourselves, we can value and love others.

First, you might consider enlisting the services of a helping professional to gain more understanding of yourself. A trained therapist or counselor can help you uncover certain types of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that are not serving you well. Sometimes these are firmly rooted in our past.  Only when you know what they are can you effectively do something about them – including changing them.

Next, I would work with a relationship coach who can help you understand who you are and the type of individual you’re seeking for a relationship.  Creating a vision for your life, getting clear on your values and interests, and defining your relationship requirements, needs, and wants are just some of the empowering activities that you can work on together.

A coach will provide you with thoughtful feedback, questions for personal introspection, and a safe and confidential environment in which you can really map out the life you desire.  By making plans and investing in your dreams and desires, you’ll feel incredibly empowered. You will begin to view and value yourself differently. This will not only change your perspective on yourself, life, and relationships, but also it will affect the type of energy you project to others.  All of these things will play a role in attracting wonderful men to you – one’s who will treat you with respect at all times.

Keep in mind that this is a process.  All good things take diligent thought and focused effort.  And, most importantly, take your time and allow things to unfold in a gentle manner.  You’ve made the most important decision already.  You’ve moved out of an unproductive situation and began to focus on taking care of yourself first.

If you want to achieve better results, try a better method. Learn more about dating and relating so you can move in a new direction. It’s time to make some changes.   Sign up to receive complimentary dating tips http://www.DailyDatingTipsForYou.com Tara Kachaturoff works with business professionals who want to find the love of their life and live the life they love.  She’s also the author of Dating Success Tips for Singles:  52 Ways to Improve Your Relationships.  Bonus Tip:  The sooner you start, the faster you’ll be enjoying the life that you want and deserve.  Get started, create your dating plan, and claim your success!