I want to give online dating a try. What tips can you suggest for someone completely new to this?

Rachel in Roanoke

Online dating is a fast, easy and convenient way of connecting with a potential mate! There’s simply no other way available where you can connect with so many people, in so little time, all in one place! To increase your success:

• Clarify your relationship requirements. What must you absolutely have (or not have) for you to be in a relationship? Include these in your narrative.
• Quickly sort thru replies and only spend time interacting with prospects who are highly aligned with who you’re looking for. Online dating can be time consuming; manage your time wisely.
• Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, move on quickly. Whether it’s a photo, something in a posted profile, or a response they sent to you, don’t second guess your feelings.
• Be organized. Maintain a simple written record of people you interact with including contact details, characteristics that resonate with you, and other stand out attributes that make them memorable. This will be helpful as you interact with them both online, and possibly, in person.

And, most important, have a great attitude. Online dating can be fun. If it isn’t, try something else that resonates with who you are.

Tara Kachaturoff

My girlfriend has a fabulous marriage. She and her husband seem to be on the same wavelength about everything. They get along, share a lot of the same interests, do a lot of things together, etc. She tells me they have challenges just like any other couple, but they put their relationship as a top priority above all else. How can I create a great relationship with my partner — someone who doesn’t necessarily see it as a top priority? Where do I start and can I do things on my own that will make it great for both of us? Can you make a relationship great even if one of you is much more invested in it than the other?

Tonya in Terre Haute

Attracting what you want in your relationship starts with a vision. Picture in your mind what you really desire; feel the feelings you want to experience. Make sure you imagine yourself interacting and enjoying your relationship with your partner. Take it a step further and write your ideas on a piece of paper, focusing on all the things you want to see manifested for both of you. Consider creating a treasure map or vision board that includes pictures and other mementos so you can have a visual display to look at daily.

Start living into your vision by doing the things you want to experience in your own relationship. While not every relationship issue can be resolved by only one of you changing, it’s a great place to start. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” It can start with you and just you. We learn and model our own behaviors and thoughts by the examples to which we’re exposed. It’s no different in our relationships. As you change, so will your partner.

Tara Kachaturoff

Goal: Meet my mate by such and such date

I read all this stuff about the law of attraction and setting goals and focusing on what you really want.  Can you use this to set goals when it comes to dating? How can I meet the love of my life in 90 days? Is it possible to set a goal for something that seems so … well … fate driven? How do you do this? (please read this question carefully – she’s asking HOW to do this)

Susan in Seattle

Tara responds …

I think it’s absolutely possible to meet someone in 90 days – however, it’s not guaranteed.  First, you need a clear vision of exactly what you want. Who do you want to meet? What are their values and vision for their life?  What about physical, mental and emotional attributes? You also need to define your relationship requirements – the absolute, unwavering “must-haves.”  The clearer your expectations, the easier it will be to “attract” the right person to you.

The next step is to take action.  You can’t attract anything without taking action on your part. Even a magnet can’t attract anything until it’s placed in the environment of something which possesses properties which happen to interact with the magnet. You need to do the same thing by “standing in the way” of opportunity.   This means you need to be social, engage in activities where you will meet singles, let family and friends know about your goal and your relationship requirements.  The more activities and people you engage around your goal, the easier it will be to attract the results you desire.

The secret in a nutshell: Know what you want and then consistently and relentlessly take focused actions to achieve your goal.