Archive for Online Dating
7 Tips to Curtail Chronic Complaining
Posted by: | Comments7 Tips to Curtail Chronic Complaining
By Tara Kachaturoff
Complaining seems to be a national pastime. Everyone’s doing it. We hear complaining on TV – whether we’re watching a sitcom or listening to the evening news. We hear it on the radio. In fact, the best-of-the-best talk show hosts make their living from complaining and getting others to do the same.
We read it in the daily press, we read it online, and sometimes we even read entire books which are really one big complaint printed and bound for easier consumption. We may be married or partnered with someone who is a complainer. Or, worse still, we might be the complainer!
Complaining, like anything else with a negative bent and exacts a price – on everyone. It’s a toxic spewing of unhappiness, discontent, bitterness, and hatred wrapped in a mislabeled package called “talking” or “having a conversation.” Let’s call it what it is – complaining. It might serve a purpose if it were delivered in a different way – from a rational, informed point of view. It might make sense if it were positioned to make a difference in a positive way or to create change from which all could benefit. Unfortunately, that‘s not typically how it works.
It’s especially challenging when we’re in a close relationship with someone. We often can’t just “turn it off” or “leave the environment” to escape it. And, if we’re the one complaining, we may be unaware of the toxic toll it’s taking on your loved one.
Do you ever wonder what your day would be like if it were complaint free? What type of communities could we build if people weren’t constantly complaining about world events, people, politics, and everything else under the sun?
What type of relationship could we be enjoying with our loved ones if we could reduce complaining and replace it with more meaningful words? There’s a way to find out – stop complaining and begin to experience the changes around you.
So what if you’re a complainer? Many people are. If you want to stop whining, grumbling, and ranting, here are some easy tips to help you get started.
1. Acknowledge that you complain. A problem defined is a problem half solved. Before you can acknowledge something, you need to be aware of it. Perhaps a loved-one, friend, or colleague has pointed out that you have a bad attitude or that they’re tired of your complaining. Don’t just nod your head. Instead, really listen to what they’re saying.
Other people are our mirrors; they can help us to grow if we just look to them and see how they see us. Once you’re aware of your complaining, watch your behavior. Notice when you complain and what prompts you to complain. Then, acknowledge it. Admit that you’re a complainer. You’ve completed step one and now you’re on your way to making change – in a new direction.
2. Change your behavior. Changing behavior is easier said than done. Every one of our habits started with repetition. In this case, you’re going to retrain yourself to do something else rather than complain. Instead of complaining, what else can you do? You have all sorts of options. Consider adding a compliment rather than something negative.
Or, consider that old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all.” This should be a stand-by behavior at all times. It’s said that it takes 3 weeks or 21 days to create a new behavior into a habit. The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll be able to install a happier and healthier habit.
3. Watch the company you keep. Have you ever noticed that complainers love to hang out with other complainers? If you have friends who complain, you might want to try changing the subject or interjecting something positive. Be bold and tell them that you don’t care to listen to the complaining and steer the conversation in a new direction. They’ll either get it or they won’t. If they don’t, it’s time to branch out and make some new friends. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful you feel when you’re in a more positive and uplifting environment.
4. Don’t do it alone. Get a complaint buddy. No, this isn’t someone to sit around with to share complaints. It’s someone who will gently point out to you that you’re treading down the wrong path. Sometimes this can be very helpful. Because complaining is a habit like anything else, we do it unconsciously.
An accountability buddy can help surface that unconscious behavior so you can change it. You may already have this feature “built-in” with your family and friends as they might be the ones who initially pointed out this behavior. When you have a partner, it’s easier to be held accountable. If your buddy is also a complainer, then both of you benefit. Double win.
5. Change your environments, change your results. Sometimes the people, things or ideas with which we surround ourselves are actually fueling our complaints. If there isn’t fuel, nothing burns – including toxic comments. Are you constantly complaining about your job? Do something about it. Either reframe how you look at your job or move on to something else. Feeling negative when you’re around certain relatives or friends? Change the conversation or limit your time with these folks.
Tired of hearing yourself complain about your messy home or office? Clean it up and enjoy a refreshed environment. You can make simple changes in your physical, mental, relationship and other environments which can dramatically affect how you feel and, thus, will affect the amount you complain.
6. Read about it. Purchase a copy of A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted by Will Bowen. This book is a wonderful read filled with inspiration to help you stop complaining in 21 days. In reality, according to the book, it takes people many months before they reach 21 days, in a row, complaint-free, but the rewards are well worth it. It’s not easy to get through one day without complaining, but you need to start somewhere. And you keep on doing it until you get through day one. Then you tackle day two. Be gentle and start now.
7. Reward yourself. How you feel about yourself and how others enjoy you once you reduce your complaining seems like reward enough. Now take it a step further. Connect something positive to your changed behavior. Decide on how to reward yourself once you make it through one day complaint-free. Think of another reward when you’ve completed 5 full days and so on.
Be creative. It’s important to reward yourself for creating change so you continue with it. One step at a time, in the right direction, will eventually lead you to your destination. Just as important as it is to reward yourself, be forgiving when you do complain. Notice it. Acknowledge it. Move on. Start again. You’ll be pleased with the results.
There it is – seven easy tips for starting on your way to a complaint-free day. Curtailing your complaining will do wonders for you relationship. You’ll feel better about yourself and so will others. Create environments around you that attract the people and things you most desire by speaking words that build up rather than tear down. This way, everyone wins.
Copyright © 2011 by Tara Kachaturoff. All rights reserved in all media. Used with permission.
Tara Kachaturoff is a Master Certified Coach for Singles. Since 2003, she has coached hundreds of single men and women to create better dating relationships through her onsite and teleseminar courses. Tara is also the newsletter editor for the Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI). Her personal site is www.relationshipplanning.com.
Online Dating Tips: What you must include in your online dating profile
Posted by: | CommentsOnline Dating Tips: What you must include in your online dating profile
Online dating is one dating strategy you can use to find the love of your life. In fact, millions of singles use it all the time, making it the most popular way for people to connect. It’s relatively fast, easy, and convenient to use. Be cautioned in advance, however, because it does take a lot of time to actually follow up with people – and especially so if you’re really going to take the approach of handling all of this in a methodical manner.
Before you jump into online dating, you need to prepare yourself. The more preparation you do on the front end, the better results you’ll most likely achieve. Planning sounds like drudgery to most people. Unfortunately, those who do not plan usually fail at whatever they undertake.
If you want to achieve better results, it’s important to draft a relationship plan. A relationship plan is a written document that includes important information about you, your values, and your interests. You include detailed information about who you are and what you’re looking for in a relationship. After all, if you can’t define what you’re looking for, you may end up wasting a lot of time — not to mention end up with something or someone you don’t want!
It’s important to spend some quality time for introspection before diving in to the world of online dating. You will need a lot of the information you compiled in your relationship plan to actually create an effective online profile.
An online profile serves as your initial filter to attract the people who you would like to follow up with further. At the same time, it serves to filter away those people who don’t have the qualities or values that you desire. Writing an effective online profile will save you a lot of time, money and energy.
The best way to filter people is to include several of your relationship requirements in your profile. Requirements are those things you must have in the relationship otherwise you won’t be in the relationship. For example, you may have a requirement that you must date someone who is a non-smoker or that they must be open to dating someone who already has children. By including your requirements in your profile, people will be able to determine if there may or may not be a possibility for further communication with you.
It’s vital to include these must-haves in your initial profile so you don’t waste endless hours trying to filter these people out later. With limited resources of time, money, and energy to invest, you need to the profile to work for you.
It’s crucial to learn the concepts, skills, and dating strategies which will help you find the love of your life including what you need to know when it comes to online dating. If you want to achieve better results, try a better method. Learn more about dating and relating so you can move in a new direction. It’s time to make some changes. Sign up to receive complimentary dating tips http://www.DailyDatingTipsForYou.com Tara Kachaturoff works with business professionals who want to find the love of their life and live the life they love. She’s also the author of Dating Success Tips for Singles: 52 Ways to Improve Your Relationships. Bonus Tip: The sooner you start, the faster you’ll be enjoying the life that you want and deserve. Get started, create your dating plan, and claim your success!
When you engage in online dating, you need to be prepared. In fact, if you want to achieve better results than most, there’s quite a lot of planning you should do before actually engaging with anyone online. Much of that work has to do with creating a relationship plan.
A relationship plan is a written plan that includes lots of information about you – your vision for your life, you interests, your values, the qualities you’re seeking in others as well as a detailed strategy as to how you’re going to find the best people to date. This is all part of what needs to be done if, ultimately, you want to find the love of your life.
Online dating is actually one type of dating strategy that you can use to find the right person for you. The various components of your relationship plan, however, play an integral role in how you prepare your online profile and approach the whole dating process once you move it from an online experience to a let’s-meet-in-person event.
An online profile is an important part of your online dating portfolio. An online profile is where you describe yourself, your interests, and hopefully who and what you’re looking for when it comes to finding a relationship. Whether you’re seeking a friendship only or something more serious like marriage, you can use your online profile to filter potential dates.
Depending on the site, you may be provided with a list of questions to answer. Sites do this for those who are new to online dating and who really don’t know where to start. Most sites also provide some place where you can freely add material of your own choosing.
You don’t want to attract everyone – you just want to attract those folks who have the values, interests, and traits you’re looking for. For this reason, it’s important to include your relationship requirements in your profile. A requirement is something you must have in the relationship, without exception, otherwise you won’t be in the relationship. For example, non-smoker might be a requirement. Or you might want to meet someone with a particular religion belief. Or someone who does want children.
It’s important to include the must-haves in your initial profile so you don’t waste endless hours trying to filter these people out later. You only have so much time, money, and energy to invest in this. You’ll discover just how time consuming, yet efficient, online dating can be. However, you must use it to your advantage by writing a profile that does a lot of the work for you upfront.
It’s crucial to learn the concepts, skills, and dating strategies which will help you find the love of your life including what you need to know when it comes to online dating. If you want to achieve better results, try a better method. Learn more about dating and relating so you can move in a new direction. It’s time to make some changes. Sign up to receive complimentary dating tips http://www.DailyDatingTipsForYou.com Tara Kachaturoff works with business professionals who want to find the love of their life and live the life they love. She’s also the author of Dating Success Tips for Singles: 52 Ways to Improve Your Relationships. Bonus Tip: The sooner you start, the faster you’ll be enjoying the life that you want and deserve. Get started, create your dating plan, and claim your success!
Online dating is a fast, easy, and convenient way to meet people. In fact, some statistics show that more than 75% of singles use online dating sites. There are many good things about online dating sites – at least the larger ones that provide the bulk of the online dating profile listings.
Many online dating sites have many features and functions which allow singles to search and interact with others in a safe, confidential environment. Many allow you to post detailed profiles, pictures, audio, and video. They allow you to interact through instant messaging and provide detailed filters so you can find and sort prospects according to your own pre-defined criteria.
Most importantly, online dating sites allow you to review profiles of many people at your convenience and then interact with them without revealing certain personal information, email addresses or telephone numbers.
That being said, online dating is not the cure-all for finding the love of your life. And for some who do not exercise caution and good common sense, it can actually be dangerous. While online dating is a valuable resource in and of itself, it’s important that you really understand what you are doing before going online.
If you have any fear of using an online dating site, don’t. In fact, don’t consider online dating at all. If you’re not mentally onboard and engaging in this from a standpoint of confidence, you may do things that open you up for less than wonderful experience. Dating is supposed to be fun. When it’s not, you’re not doing it correctly.
For these reasons, and others, it’s so important to learn the concepts, skills, and dating strategies which lead to dating success. Accept my invitation to sign up for complimentary dating tips that will help you find the love of your life and live the life you love.
If you want to achieve better results, try a better method. Learn more about dating and relating so you can move in a new direction. It’s time to make some changes. Sign up to receive complimentary dating tips http://www.DailyDatingTipsForYou.com Tara Kachaturoff works with business professionals who want to find the love of their life and live the life they love. She’s also the author of Dating Success Tips for Singles: 52 Ways to Improve Your Relationships. Bonus Tip: The sooner you start, the faster you’ll be enjoying the life that you want and deserve. Get started, create your dating plan, and claim your success!